What's Your Vibe? Chat With Danielle Napolio Cox, Certified Life Coach

You know all the self improvement guru's say you should hang around people who inspire and challenge you, and make you want to be the best version of yourself.  I guess that's how I connected with Danielle. Danielle is a successful Life Coach who teaches working women practical skills to streamline their life so they can do more of what they love, reach those elusive goals, and end the day feeling accomplished. 

Recently, we got to chatting about how we can raise our vibrations through our emotions and the benefits of being a high-vibe person, while chatting I learned that Danielle is a certified Life Coach through Brooke Castillo’s prestigious Life Coach School.  (I have been a fan of Brooke Castillo's podcast -if you haven't heard it, I highly recommend it.)

Question~ What is a 'high-vibe person' and what does that mean?

Most people think of being "high-vibe" as being a positive, upbeat person.  It's true that a lot of high-vibe people are that way, but you can be high-vibe and be a quiet introvert. 

When we are high-vibe, it means that the energy field around us vibrates at a high frequency.  We can't see this, just like we can't see sound.  However, we can feel it.  If you've ever met someone and instantly felt lighter, happier, more at ease or find  yourself drawn to talk to them, then you've experienced their high energetic vibration.  And the reverse is true.  If you've meet someone and they feel heavy, something is "off" or even if you barely notice them, then they probably have a low energetic vibration.  This discernment can happen so quickly that it bypasses our awareness.  We can come up with the reasons we like or dislike someone that makes logical sense but it's often happened in our subconscious mind.  When it comes to topics such as Law of Attraction and manifesting abundance, our vibration is how we call the things we desire into our life.
I totally get this!  And I love your comparison to sound, I'm big into sound therapy, and yes you can't see it but you can definitely feel it.  I think everything comes down to our feelings.
Question~ Is it realistic to maintain a high-vibrational state?
We can't always stay at the highest vibration.  We're meant to experience the full range of emotions, some of which will lower our vibration.  It's part of our human experience.

What we can do is raise our vibrational set point.  We do this by becoming aware of our thoughts and automated responses to people and situations.  We notice how those things make us feel.  If we feel a negative emotion, then we've stepped into a low vibration state.
One of the biggest misconceptions around this concept is that emotions are either positive or negative.  They are both.  We can choose to experience the high-vibration positive side of an emotion or the low-vibration negative side of an emotion.  I'll use grief as an example. My Dad died a couple of years ago.  We were close and to this day I still miss him.  When grief comes, it's tempting to be angry at the unfairness of the world or to feel sorry for myself.  Instead, I choose to allow myself to feel sad that he's gone and to be appreciative that I was blessed to have had a Dad worth missing, because not everyone can say that.  I can be sad and appreciative or sad and pitiful.  Both are ways to grieve but they feel very different when I experience them. 
Question~ What are some things we can do to break out of a situation or emotion we feel stuck in?
The very best thing we can do with an emotion is to allow ourselves to fully experience it.  If anyone is an empath, this may seem really overwhelming because we take in other people's emotions.  Resisting the emotions feels like the best option but it's actually the worst.

"What you resists, persists" is a cliche but it's true.  When we try to resist experiencing our emotions fully, we think we're escaping it, but in reality it's just being put off until later.  This means it pops up again and again. 

Resistance is sneaky because it often doesn't look like resistance. We may feel bad for a moment then decide to check social media, or go eat something, or make ourselves a drink.  Usually these impulses jump past our conscious mind and we find ourselves on our phone, in the kitchen, or at the cabinet without realizing we're doing it.
Another way we resist is by arguing with reality.  We do this by replaying events or situations in our own mind with a running dialog of what "should" have happened.  We get hung up on what we "should" have done or said, what someone else "should" have done or said, or how the circumstances "should" have been.  Byron Katie said, "When we argue with reality, we lose 100% of the time."  For some, accepting is the precursor to allowing.

Allowing an emotion means that we sit with it until it passes through us naturally.  We experience it without distraction.  We're wired with an underlying fear that if we allow an emotion then it may never go away.  The truth is when we resist an emotion, it hangs around waiting to be processed.  When we allow ourselves to experience all emotions, they move past quickly.  Dr. Jill Bote Taylor tells us that the longest we are capable of experiencing an emotion is 90 seconds.  That's it.  The emotions may return but they never stay longer than 90 seconds and they are always a little weaker each time they return.
Wow!  That's so interesting!  I've never heard about the 90 seconds...I'm going to test this next time I am aware because. I feel like some of my emotions last way longer than 90 seconds -lol.
Question ~ Do you have a regular practice or routine that helps you maintain your energy?  How did you learn this?
For me, I have spent a lot of time working on my thoughts and how I see the world.  I stay aware of how I feel and experience the world.  I look for automated reactions and presumptions that create negative emotions and drop my vibration.  Then I step into a role that I call The Compassionate Observer.  I do that by getting really curious and asking lots of questions:  Why did I react that way?  Is this a valid reaction that presented in a low-vibe way? Or is it a low-vibe reaction?  How is this reaction serving me?  How is it not serving me?  Do I want to change it?  What do I need to think or believe to turn it into an empowering high-vibe reaction?  I keep questioning myself until I get really clear on what's going on.  Then I ultimately decide if I'm going to embrace this reaction or change it.

I was started on this path many years ago by a wellness mentor.  She recommended that I read the book You Can Heal Your Heart by Louise Hay.  It changed the way I viewed myself and the world.  Now I turn to Byron Katie, Brene Brown, Joe resonates, Brooke Castillo and countless experts to help me better understand myself at a deep, soul level.

Doing this work isn't always easy. Looking back, I can see that every small, micro-improvement has created within me a baseline of peace.  I allow myself to ride the rollercoaster of emotions, good and bad, because I know that when it's over, I will return to my setpoint.  It's a wonderful feeling to have unshakable peace.


I also love Byron Katie, who I found through listening to Brooke Castillo's Podcast, they both make so much sense!  I love that we have that as a connection.  Thank you Danielle for sharing such great insights, so much of what you said really resonates with me. 

If you'd like to connect further with Danielle you can find her:




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