"Go Laugh in the Places You've Cried"
You might be grieving the loss of your mother right now, and this year you have a gaping hole, where in the past you would have enjoyed the day with her.
Your mother might be toxic, you might not even know her or have had her in your life. You might feel angry & abandoned.
You might be struggling to become a mother yourself, experiencing disappointments and loss, this holiday amplifies the ache in your heart.
Are you a single mother? The weight of your responsibilities are heavy & you're just desperate for some relief. It's all you, and it can be so hard.
There could be a million different reasons, all are real, valid & painful. I am sorry for your pain.
"Go laugh in the places you've cried."
You do that by creating a new association with this day. Changing how you think about things that normally cause you pain.
If you grieving the loss of your mom, whether from death or because the relationship was never safe, give yourself the things you wished your mother could. You can mother yourself, give yourself the unconditional love you crave or miss. Tell yourself, how proud you are of yourself, reflect on how wonderful you really are, give yourself what you wish your mother could.
- Write yourself a letter as if you are your own mother, write everything you wished you heard from her. Give yourself that gift - YOU are worth it.
If you are struggling to become a mother & aching for a child of your own, consider donating or offering support to organizations that work with children in foster care. You might consider Together We Rise, supports children in foster care. Or any organization that cares for orphaned children.
You could consider marking the day on your calendar, and dedicating Mother's Day to making the world better somehow. Send a donation, volunteer somewhere, contribute to your community in any way.
- So every year you know on Mother's Day, you give back someway. You can volunteer at a homeless shelter, or food kitchen, go pick up trash at a park. It doesn't matter, but on this day you GET to make the world just a bit brighter.
Associate this date with an opportunity to GIVE back to others, YOU get to be the blessing.
If you’re a single mom, consider asking for help from a person you feel is safe & will likely help you. Maybe you could ask for a couple hours of babysitting so you can take a bath or walk. Or if you have the means, buy yourself a Mother’s Day gift, celebrate yourself, because man, you deserve it. Being an only parent is HARD.
You can rewrite the associations you have with this holiday or any others you struggle with. Give yourself what you need. Mother yourself, or support children who don’t have a mother, maybe you find a friend or mentor who could lend themselves to that role when you need an extra hug or listening ear. If you rewrite the story, you can begin to heal.
Plant seeds of hope where once was pain.